Red Ned Tudor Mysteries

Showing posts with label Tudor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tudor. Show all posts

Thursday, December 30, 2010

At last, the Most Glorious Cover!!


A Cover! A Cover! My Kingdom for a Cover!
Part 3




Good day my well regarded viewers, I hope this missive finds you all in excellent health, now in the midst of the twelve day yuletide festival! I hope that the huge Christmas Day feast has left you satisfied and replete. Rather than as some of my patients who were in urgent need of a purgative to cure from the pain of excessive indulgence? I know it almost did me in and our Christmas repast erred on the lighter side of dinning. If not for the swift recourse to my handy medicinal cabinet and a cinnamon and ginger hippocras. I too would have succumbed to a groaning stomach. I cannot recommend it highly enough a wonderfully efficacious restorative! I have included a simple recipe from the popular The Booke of Kervinge and Sewing (London: 1508) Tudor period tome on housekeeping.

Take ginger, pepper, graines, canell, sinamon, sugar and tornsole, than looke ye have five or sixe bags for your ipocras to run in, and a pearch that your renners may ren on, than must ye have sixe peuter basins to stand under your bags, than look your spice be ready, and your ginger well pared or if it be beaten to pouder, than looke your stalkes of sinamon be well coloured and sweete: canell is not so gentle in operation, sinamon, is hotte and dry, graines of paradice be hot and moist, ginger, grains, long pepper ben hot and moist, sinamon, canell and redde wine colouring.

Now knowe yee the proportions of your ipocras, than beate your pouders, eache by them selfe, and put them in bladders and hange your bagges sure that no bagge tough other, but let each basinge touch other, let the first basin be of a gallon, and each of the other a pottell, than put in your basin a gallon of red Wine, put these to your pouders, and stire them well, than put them into the firste bage, and let it ren, than put them in the second bagge, than take a peece in your hand and assay if it be stronge of Ginger, and alay it with sinamon, and if it be strong of sinamon, alay it with sugar, and look ye let it ren through sixe renners, and your ipocras into a close Vessel and keep the receit, for it will serve for sewers, than serve your souvraign with wafers and ipocras.

Yummm!!!!

Book Covers ... Our road to artistry?
The background
distilling the true essence
Now after the slightly alcoholic digression back to the burning matter of the day, Book Covers! As I have mentioned in the last two blog articles we did an extensive search for Tudor period fiction book covers for inspiration. The results were not impressive except for a small handful of designs. I have received a few comments and criticisms regarding the last two articles (thank you my well regarded readers) and have taken their suggestions on board. (and we didn’t make any of them walk the plank!)
So I submitted the results to the design team and we spent several days going over the options. The cover had to fulfil six essential criteria:
1. Fit the Tudor Period
2. Identify the story as fiction
3. Be attractive as a design
4. Look professional
5. Get the attention of browsers
6. Not look like a headless bimbo


When broken down into simple components the whole enormous task looks easier, well it did to me. Though I must admit to starting out with a distinct advantage; several years of design experience, so that I understood the elements of the process which I will outline step by step

Step the First

Review the research;
Okay the easiest part is cancel out the losers; the horde from headless bimbodom get axed!  Now I must
admit to being picky so as a committee
(Jocelyn the Uber editor and Alexander the artist extraordinaire ) we sat down and went through the remaining hundred odd images. We cancelled out strictly historical option like portraits since we felt they referred too specifically to individual Tudor characters. In the end the winners were representational or composition covers such as those for Sacred Treason and CJ Sansom’s novels. Overall the committee felt they looked very impressive and pretty speccy. So those were to serve as the basis for our design.


Step the Second

What elements to use?
The story background
The basis of the Cardinal’s Angels (without giving the whole story away) is the trials and tribulations of apprentice lawyer and sometime rogue Red Ned Bedwell and his pursuit of golden angels. The Angels in question in part refer to one of the gold coins of the realm of Henry VIII stamped with the figure of St Michael on one face. In his efforts to secure a convenient fortune Ned stumbles across murder, possible heresy, threatened betrayal and potential treason. All this mayhem and strife because of a set of letters and a secret consignment of gold. Now Ned could listen to the alluring whisper of the angels as his daemon counsels or heed the urging of his better angel to follow the path of honour and friendship. For a Tudor lad on the make it’s a difficult choice and either one could led to a lingering death on the scaffold.

Step the Third

The Design components

With all the above and more now being slotted into the design brief, the ‘committee’ set to work. As per the decision in stage one ,we’d use a version of the composition style of cover, including simple and readily identified elements from the story. That was the easiest decision. Afterwards we engaged in as they say robust debate and discussion. The next victim for the block was, the use of any Tudor figures in costume. In the first draft I suggested a dagger since it’s in the murder and other sections of the story. The committee voted otherwise. Thud! It was chopped. I then sensibly pushed for the inclusion of a leather satchel since it was a key item in the story progress. Ah no, a quick walk to the scaffold and it was all over, once more the committee in their collective wisdom crushed the suggestion cruelly underfoot. Finally we were left with four main style elements; falling coins, A Tudor Rose seal, the incriminating letter and the title in Tudor period text. At that point I yielded to the powers of reason and democracy as well as the salient fact that the too much detail would be lost in a thumbnail image.
Though I can claim one victory, all the covers will have a background based on that of a Tudor period fabric or painting.

Step the Fourth

Bringing it together
Thus we arrive at the individual components for a cracking good cover, once more I skimmed through the Internet searching out examples and came across the following










The Fishpool Hoard
(http://www.britishmuseum.org/explore/online_tours/britain/our_top_ten_british_treasures/the_fishpool_hoard.aspxsome)
A collection of twelve hundred odd gold coins buried during the abortive rebellion against the Yorkist King Edward IV in 1464.
To bring the coins up to date I found an image of a gold angel of Henry VIII. I chose the yellower colour to indicate an earlier coin of pre debasing vintage, since the later ones had a redder tinge from the copper alloy. Our talented and obliging artist Alexander quickly rendered the face with the figure of St Michael (thus the reason why they’re called angels) into a sketch and the design was away.

The next item on the list was the letter, more valuable and dangerous than gold. The committee wanted three messages in this part of the cover, the first was its official nature thus the red seal. Originally we thought a facsimile of the Lord Chancellor’s seal would do the trick, however it proved to be rather obscure and didn’t scream Tudor power to modern eyes so we went for the traditional Tudor Rose. As you can see it was similar to the concept in Sacred Treason, though this one is broken symbolising (we hope) the breach of royal trust by Cardinal Wolsey and Ned’s daring an act of treason to escape the noose. It also has a bloodstained tear caused by a dagger thrust slashing through the latin script, once more the implied message of murder and official treason. As a basis for this image we looked at some of Holbein’s paintings and found the mother lode.
Letters from Holbeins Gisze painting


For the upside down latin script that you can see on the outside of the letter, we sourced a very famous piece of Tudor writing as an example of lettering style to copy. Princess Elizabeth’s ‘Tide Letter’, which she wrote out supposedly on a Thames wharf while waiting to be conveyed to the Tower. It was addressed to her sister Queen Mary pleading her innocence and begging not to be arrested for treason. Some historians believe this delay saved Elizabeth’s life, since Mary began to reconsider the hasty action as Elizabeth’s supporters petitioned for mercy.


Thus began the refining process to turn our ideas into a similar rain of golden coins.
The title is simple, Alexander used a Tudor font and imported it into Photoshop then embossed it used a matching parchment colour and finally added shadows.
For the author’s name (mine of course) we chose a more subdued Garamond font and a smaller text size that I hope portrays dignity, modesty and style.  As well as placing it at the bottom of the image to balance out the title and frame the cover. I assume it will maintain that position until I reach Clive Cussler levels of fame, then straight to the top!

To give depth to the background once more we looked to Holbein and reworked a section of the backing curtain from the Ambassadors as you can see it brings the script, letter and coins forward in space.


The second last version
On reflection it needed a little extra to make the title stand out so Alexander added more shadows to give some extra depth and not have the pile of coins suspended in space.  So far this is the final version any suggestions of comments please let us know














The final version!
Before NYE we should also be able to attach a YouTube film and voice over of the entire process.

The finished novel will be available from Smashwords early in the new year, soon to be followed by book two the Queen’s Oranges a tale involving murder, smuggling, heresy, oranges and gunpowder.
http://www.smashwords.com/

Just search for the Cardinal’s Angels and download the sample chapters.

As the good doctor says keep taking the pills!


And Happy Waeshael and keep safe for New Year’s Eve!!!
Post Additions
In response to suggestion from my loyal and extremely intelligent fans the design committee has burnt the midnight oil and slaved away at two more versions of the cover
The first has an addition of a cardinal's red cloth background sourced from Wolsey's portrait behind the book title. Then some gradient fading down the bottom beind the author name to obscure the base of the green curtain fabric.  the coins have also gained more of a shimmer as they fall and reflect the light.  I'm afraid the that the light gold colour has to stay to reflect the pure rather then redder debased coins.

After further reflection the design committee felt that the tudor text was too heavy for the title as well as difficult to read in thmubnail. So we swapped it with a clearer medieval text and thus have this the latest and who knows maybe the last version.

Let us know what you think?

Monday, December 20, 2010

A Cover! My Kingdom for a Cover!



Fiction, Its Great to be Published, now for the Sales!!


Or A Cover! A Cover! My Kingdom for a Cover!


Good day my well regarded viewers, I hope this missive finds you all in excellent health, partying along like its well, yuletide! Just remember always consult your honoured and reputable physician before indulging in the myriad of mountebank hangover cures. Unlike some charlatans and hedge witches I do not prescribe eye of newt or wing of bat! Certainly not, as every qualified doctor knows only the refined and distilled essence of the bull musk ox will restore and promote the natural vigour!
Now having dispensed more Tudor medicinal wisdom onto the theme of the day
So you’re published? And?

Publishing ... the Myths

All right you have finally done it, achieved that pinnacle of fame and fortune as we discussed in the last post. Every thing is sweet, life is as they say a bed of roses. Your book is on the shelves and the ravening reading public is out there buying up for Christmas and… your book stays on the shelves. Actually well into post new year, and worse news, its still on the shelves! Finally months later a container load of your book covers is shipped back to the publisher. Then disaster at the height of your writing peak three quarters of the way through your sequel you get that dreaded envelope from the publisher. Dear Sir/Madman/ Miss…Due to an unforseen dip in the market and the poor sales response of your debut novel our company is no longer able to retain you on our list ….yours unfaithfully wishing you the best… at a later date and so
The translation is- your toast, piss off, don’t call us because we won’t call you!



What!!! How??? Why???

I mean, I know it was a debut work but it couldn’t have been that bad… could it? Your self esteem plummets, you look at the delete key with ominous foreboding, the great work of years has failed, crashed to ruin. It must be your writing a little voice whispers in your mind. You’re a miserable failure, go on admit it, the voice continues to hiss seductively, go on give up you’ll never make!



STOP RIGHT THERE!!!

You did the work, you put in the effort, all those thousands of words weren’t randomly typed by an infinite number of monkeys you know! Then the editing and the twenty five, read it twenty five redrafting sessions, to get it all sparkling and mint just as the publisher requested. You even did the book signing tours and cajoled all your friends and family to buy and promote the book. Don’t forget the keeping up with modern technology, there were those fifty social sites and Facebook you joined in order to get that networking thing happening. So what if you downloaded a stack of viruses, it was worth it!
At this point in the self analysis you should have got past the ‘my work stinks’ stage and started looking around for scapegoats and be ratcheting through all sorts of bizarre and unlikely candidates. Perhaps after exhausting all other possibilities including the cute black kitten that walked across your path the day your book went on sale, you may finally decide to look at a few previously taboo subjects.


I’ll give you one…

BOOK COVERS!!

Now I know that in our younger days and at school, our teachers and our parents always hammered us about not judging a book by its cover. I recall Mr Markarroff in his heavy Russian accent and overhanging threatening eyebrows wagging a horny finger at me and saying ‘Kiddies zat ist a gud book read it, enjoy it, don’t worry about the cover its just fluff for ze ignorant!’
Of course we all nodded and agreed, with a universal ‘Yes Sir’ if you answered in the negative, oh well, you’d get to appreciate Mr Markarroff’s facility with the backswing caning technique.
However in some respects that old sage is correct, until you flick open the cover and have a bit of a read it is almost impossible to tell if a novel is any good or suits your mood or taste.
However in reality that is stage three in the purchasing process which is as you realise three vital steps away from the most important initial temptation.
Let’s face it, we live in a visual world saturated by advertising, it is coming at you all day every day thousands of images pleading enticing and cajoling you to give in to temptation buy me! No me… and so on.
To compete in the savage environment of book retail where it is red in tooth and claw your work has to stand out. It has to proclaim its individuality, in fact its inalienable superiority to the rest of the herd. For it is a KING!

Or

Your publisher in their infinite wisdom and experience could wack on a blurred photo of a headless bimbo in a vaguely Tudor period dress.
This particular trend has been explored at the Goodreads webpage http://www.goodreads.com/group/show/9749.Tudor_History_Lovers
in the Tudor History Lovers section, with much speculation as to why? One possibility was so that the purchaser subconsciously projects their own face into the image in a narcissistic fashion, somewhat like the teen sword and magic fantasies. Maybe so, however I suspect a less esoteric reason; blurred photos are cheap, easy, don’t require any complicated graphics and can be used for anything.

So I want to epublish my book The Cardinal’s Angels a Red Ned Tudor mystery what how do I go about it? For a start I cranked away hours in the internet ether searching for cover inspirations. After all why re invent the wheel. To be honest the results were disappointing swathes of headless Tudorish bimbos and abysmal cover art of the odd building or may be a Tudor royal. Even the latest versions of PF Chisholm’s fine Robert Cary books were less than impressive, in fact almost dreadful. Out of the whole trawl only a few stood out Sacred Treason by James Forrester and The Marlowe Conspiracy by MG Scarsbrook. (We will deal with those in part 2)

As an example I have picked up this ‘short’ selection;

Headless Bimbo 1.

The cover for The Tudor Rose a novel of Elizabeth of York. All right, now before we continue I am stating on the record that I have not read this book so I can make no judgements about its contents.
The truncated cover is alone under scrutiny.
First why cut her head off is it just the normal fashion habit? Ahh perhaps not, Jocelyn my design critic immediately pointed out that this portrait was wildly off uit is in fact of Eleanor of Toledo who married Cosmio de’ Medici duke of Tuscany and was painted in 1545 by the famous artist Bronzino. How this Spanish lady of the Renaissance corresponds with Elizabeth of York 1466-1503 the ‘mother’ of Henry VIII is a mystery to me and probably to anyone else with a brain. Sixty years and half a continent is a bit of an error, its not as if we lack portraits of this English queen who united the rival houses of York and Lancaster. So what the …?



Roll the drums Taaaaa da!!!

Headless Bimbo 2
This is the cover for the War of the Roses novel The Stolen Crown by historical author Susan Higginbotham, I must admit I do follow her blog Medieval Woman which is very well arranged and full of a lot of top quality historical information, though I have not read any of her books. Now once more we are not judging the novel. It is the cover. Once more my artistic consultant steps in, her opinion is the cover is from a late eighteenth century painting probably French rococo in style.
What pray tell does this have to do with the character Katherine Woodville the sister in law of Edward IV? Anyone got any descent suggestions apart from blatant stupidity? My partner Jocelyn was particular aghast since she felt this was a very slapdash and lackadaisical way to treat the work of an accomplished author.




Now Taaaaa da!!!

Headless Bimbo 3

Lucky last, At the King’s Command. Oh dear that corseted heaving bosom! Oh I feel faint I think I’d better have a few scotches and have a very cool shower! Well its Tudor I think, because it says its part of the Tudor Rose Trilogy. Apart from that it looks like a thousand other nondescript bodice rippers, which it may well be. However if that’s its market then it is maybe an adequate cover, though pretty shoddy in style and composition.


That about all I can handle of this, now since the Festive season approaches I’ll split this into a three part blog. Part two will be a few days and discuss some better examples of covers and part three will showcase the design process for The Cardinals Angels. Who knows maybe in the New Year we could do Vampire Vikings!!!

Ps you like the Richard III theme? I thought that was particualy apt considering the general headless-ness, after all no gets Lancastrians headless as fast as Richard III. Anyway as you can see in image advertising what could be a more effective example?

As the good doctor says ‘Keep taking the Pills!’


Sunday, December 12, 2010

Publishing Gregory House



Fiction, Oh to be Published!!


Good day my well regarded viewers, I hope this missive finds you all in excellent health, no need for the application of the, ahem… long syringe? Just remember as I prescribed to my good friend Lord Black Adder (who it appears actually existed and was a noted Tudor period pirate) take two leeches and pop them under the tongue until they dissolve. Since this is the happy joyous Yule tide season, you’ve no doubt noticed the excessive amounts of advertising that has been hitting the airwaves or clogging up the letter boxes. I though in keeping with the jolly theme we’d take a slight excursion from the series of book reviews and look at another aspect somewhat similar.
What do you have to do to get published?

The Novel... the Myths

Okay I suppose it is assumed that you have written a wonderful novel, the best ever, a piece to rival Clive Cussler or JK Rowling. Its going to be acclaimed through out the known world and beyond, earning you the author the laurel wreath of victory and enough zeros in your bank account to give any bank manager happily skipping heart palpitations.
Then of course to acquire this status you have to have slogged your way through years of creative writing courses, then a Master of Literature followed by a host of expression or character workshops, theme sessions and endless critiques groups. You slave away poring over hundreds of books dissecting, probing exploring and subjecting each paragraph to minute post modern interpretation. What did the author mean by ‘so I looked at life like a bucket of rotting fish’ on page fifty five paragraph three? Was it some kind of post Hegelian metaphor about the fragility of human existence? Or was it a parable of the recycling of the greater Jungian soul? Oh god I didn’t get it! No, no, no! I’ll have to read it again for the seventy fifth time now from a Freudian viewpoint!


Then after all that dissection, analysing, post modern deconstruction, re-scaffolding and re-interpretation you’re now ready to start your very own literati achievement! You’ve gone the plot outline, the character interaction maps, selected the points of view, the moral positions of the major narrators and their flaws, decided on the protagonist and obstacles, assembled the groundlings, reviewed the narrative flow (the story line for those lucky enough to forgo university).



Ta Da! So we’re all ready to undergo the self doubt and flagellation during months of writing, more months of correction and editing until…

At the end you have a highly polished articulate piece of work that positively gleams in the morning light. A true piece of writing craftsmanship, nay artistry! A vertiable Michaelangelo of fiction! Glowing in all its fine purity and excellence, a literary masterpiece surpassing Nabokov, there on its pedestal for all to behold!






Or you could bonk a publisher and get a contract.

Oh dear, slap me! I didn’t just advocate sleeping your way into publishing? How could I? That’s…that’s, well that’s just hopelessly immoral, impossible! No I could never do that! I have standards to maintain! Oh you depraved individual, how could you suggest such a vile, abhorrent and cheap road to success!
I mean, its like totally disgusting, Barfville even!!!
Well, arrghh, Puke!
Aaaah…oh, I see… well in that case…sorry to bother you but, you wouldn’t have their phone number would you?



Oh dear my fiction gear slipped a cog, sorry about that, I got carried away. That couldn’t be the way some authors got published, well could it? I mean its so fantasy, so unreal I mean after all you’ve never actually seen anyone get what they want by, I mean bending over or perhaps wearing a really really short skirt, have you?

Sorry drive shaft on the friction gear had a serious conniption, scratch all the above I never meant to say that. After those generous and forthright souls in the publishing industry are all every man Jack (or Jill) decent, hardworking, moral, thorough, honest, perceptive and highly experienced individuals. Over all they’ve hardly made a single error of judgement like knocking back JK Rowling several times or the grievous errors committed by their close kin in the music business. For instance that record label executive saying to the early Beatles ‘sorry lads groups with guitars are on the way out, not interested’.
Such dramatic mistakes could never happen in these modern professionally managed enlightened times could they?

As proof I just give you a quick example from the Amazon list.

THEY CAME FROM THE NORTH AND THE CITY FELL.

It is a time for warriors, a time for heroes. Kell's axe howls out for blood. The land of Falanor has been invaded by an albino army, the Army of Iron. A small group set off to warn the king: Kell, a magnificent and brutal hero; his granddaughter, Nienna and her friend, Katrina; and Saark, the ex-Sword Champion of King Leanoric, disgraced after his affair with the Queen.

Fighting their way south, betrayal follows battle, battle follows deviation, and they are attacked from all quarters by deadly warriors, monstrous harvesters who drain blood from their victims to feed their masters. As Falanor comes under heavy attack and invasion, only then does Nienna begin to learn the truth about grandfather Kell -- that he is anything but a hero. Ferocious fantasy from a real-life hardman come to claim the post-Gemmell world
.


Yep that’s right, that stunningly magnificent piece of literary work got both an agent and a publisher. Who says talent doesn’t shine through!

Getting published??

This is the quest of every aspiring writer to gain the universal
validation of being officially published. It is what drives us on through penury, mounting frustration and of course bouts of published envy regarding those obviously less talented who’ve snagged a contract. It is the Holy Grail of your long hours of creative slogging! You ask how can I a humble scribbler gain that pinnacle of success? In the previous section we’ve scotched that vile and scurrilous rumour of bonking your way to literati-dom. So now we’ll examine the officially sanctified route to publishing.
According to the established practice an aspiring writer sends off a flurry of query letters to agents and publishers plus the first two or three chapters as well as possibly a synopsis or chapter outline. All right, fair enough on the face of it. That gives them a reasonable chance to view your great work and in theory discuss whether or not to accept you as a client ie do you fit into their business profile or does your work present an opportunity. Now I have noticed that a lot is made of the literati aspect ie the struggling artist routine, encouraging new talent and so forth. In fact what you are doing is presenting a business proposal.


That is the unvarnished truth of the matter. Your work is worthwhile because it will sell and fits a market niche. I suppose that why a recent book search on Vampires on Amazon brought up hundreds of pages of results. Since the success of Twilight and Buffy/Angel vampires sell.
Thus I just had an excellent idea, I can marry my knowledge of History with Vampires and swords!

Vampire Vikings!!!!

Hrolf and his war band have a deep and abiding hunger that drives them to the green shores of England, and its not a lust for Saxon dangeld or church treasure. No instead they crave the sweet blood of virgin nuns! How can thane Edwin and his men withstand the fearsome assault of the berserker undead! Can holy water, crosses and good Saxon steel stop the vampire worshipers of Odin?

See that’s perfect now, all I have to do is write the first three chapters and send it off!
Fame and wealth here I come!

Oh by the way I decided to short cut the agent-publisher route and harness the power of the Internet, I will be releasing my novel ‘Red Ned and the Cardinals Angels’ as an e-book on Smashwords http://www.smashwords.com/ before Christmas. Right now we’re pushing through with the last major edit (Jocelyn, Uber Editor) and the cover design (Alexander, graphics artist extraordinaire). Over the next couple of days I will be putting up a blog of how we worked through the many needs of a book’s cover art. In the mean time I will let everyone know when the book comes out and my growing horde of devotees can spread the word!
Oh by the way I can absolutely guarantee this novel does not contain any vampires or bloodsuckers at all! Just a damned good Tudor period mystery/adventure, involving murder, cryptic letters, hidden gold, deadly political factions and good old fashioned treason. Not forgetting of course Red Ned Bedwell, a young lad who only wanted enough golden angels to escape his uncle and party in the taverns of Southwark for a month.

Who know by Christmas I could afford to buy a bottle of champagne? It’s amazing what you can get for seven dollars!

As the good doctor says ‘Keep taking the Pills!’


Tuesday, September 14, 2010




History, Weapons of Mass Destruction and the Balance of Terror
Good day all I hope this day finds all my readers in good health. Hopefully the course of leeches I prescribed did the trick? Excellent! Always a sound remedy for those of a choleric disposition, and preferable to the practice of cupping or drawing several ounces of blood with a knife and basin. Those more severe methods have always left me slightly uneasy as to their real efficacy for the treatment of illness. To expel black bile and rebalance the body’s natural humours I have rather tended to rely on purgatives or emetics as more immediate remedies. Anyway Medieval and Tudor medicine was very keen on the idea of resorting to what we would consider rigorous procedures to return the patient to the body’s natural harmony or symmetry. In fact one of the main themes of the Renaissance was the struggle between those keen on maintaining the existing ‘Natural Order’ and those who agitated that a newer updated version of the ‘Natural Order’ be incorporated.
As an example of the turmoil this clash caused we can look at the actions of the Tudors monarchs. Henry VIII in particular was naturally pretty heavy on the maintaining of the Natural Order, in both the physical and spiritual bodies of the kingdom. Especially, since their position at the top of the late medieval hierarchy was gained by conspiracy, treachery and the bloody violent overthrow of the legitimate monarch. After that example of the rewards of betrayal it behoved Tudor monarchs to behave quite severely towards similarly ambitious nobles by the simple expedient of beheading any rivals that happened to pop up. Now apart from the draconian laws and punishments pertaining to Treason, Heresy and Praemunire (we’ll cover that last one in a separate article later, in the meantime just think of it as a useful catchall that picks up any opponents the other two missed), the Tudor state had one more important tool of legitimacy, that had English nobles pause in thought;

The Cannon.


Where as in the medieval period the knight was seen as the potent symbol of the religious, political and military hierarchy, by the later 1400s advances in technology had altered the reality behind this steel clad image. While the chivalric and romantic ideals of the knight were venerated in song, story and sculpture by the aristocracy, the reality was somewhat different. The knight still held an honoured, essential and even exalted position on the field of battle. However his participation in combat no longer guaranteed victory as a weapon of war, unless it was in the capacity of a unit captain or senior commander. That battle winning accolade now belonged to a new mistress of the battlefield, the triumph of the artisans and alchemists craft; the cannon; the Tudor version of Weapon of Mass Destruction. As an example of this I am inserting a section from one of my novels (The Queens Oranges) that best explains the new reality of this modern engine of war and their impacts as Renaissance WMD’s;

Red Ned and the Queens Oranges chapter 6 Modern Engines of War © 2010

…It was certainly a widening of Ned’s knowledge, the more he heard regarding the great bronze beast that the three of them affectionately patted, the more awe struck and fascinated he became. These modern devices; the Basilisks, Demi cannons and Culverins were the King’s means to smite and lay waste his foes. If however they were his arms, then the blood and sinews that powered these weapons was the vital black powder, the success of the alchemists craft the ‘Fue d’Artifice’ or “made fire’. It was the ability to balancing the conflicting art, craft, alchemy and perhaps magic that made these two men so valuable to the king’s service. For when carefully measured and weighed the charges, if used with skill could propel missiles that would destroy the greatest walls or alter the fate of nations in battle. Without this blend of skill and the harnessed wrath of the black powder these great weapons of destruction were just mute impotent lumps of bronze and iron.
As an example of their impact on the turn of Lady Fortuna’s wheel Henryk recounted one famous incident. It was at the battle of Ravenna over twenty years ago between the Spaniards and the Lombard League. A single shot from a culverin ploughed into the Spanish line killed thirty men and wounded many more. The horror and shock of the missile’s devastation caused the Spanish companies of horse to precipitously charge in desperation, losing the battle. Ned could understand why the common soldiers feared and venerated their Gonnes, it was a bit like have a savage demon on a loose tether. If the other side had one so did you, possession was essential, no matter the risks or expense.
From the older brother he had a story that warned of the perils of use, King James II of Scotland was besieging the English held castle of Roxburgh when the barrel of his great siege Gonne exploded killing him. Ned had looked doubtfully at the culverin he was leaning on until Henryk assured him that the incident had happened years ago and cannon rarely exploded like that now. That had set Ned’s fears at ease, then Hubrecht gave a low chuckle and add that bronze was still preferred over iron since it tended to bulge before exploding, but. The douche gonner had concluded his reasoning with the sort of shrug and wave of hands in the universal gesture of uncertainty of Lady Fortuna’s favour and Ned’s reassurance evaporated.

After those tales Ned could understand the recent rants from the friars screaming of the coming destruction. Blood and Fire of the Apocalypse! Any city under siege from modern engines of war would witness their own dress rehearsal for St John the Evangelist’s prophetic words. It was no surprise that after the first roar of the Gonnes most towns surrendered. Casting a more knowledgeable look at the iron and bronze instruments, the wonder was that in battle men didn’t break and run at the first salvo. It must take a special kind of resolve to stand and watch the belching gouts of smoke and flame as they lashed towards their ranks.




The Tudor WMD



The weapon of mass destruction is not a recent concept, kingdoms and empires have worked through a number of different variations usually revolving around siege engines or the ultimate warship. The Tudor dynasty was in this respect no different to those of the past or its contemporaries in Europe. At the time the cannon represented the best balance of siege breaking ability and battlefield awesomeness. Even better for those monarchs keen on a centralised government and taxation, the manufacture and maintenance of cannons was an extremely expensive business, almost as expensive as firing them. In this modern age of mass production and general wealth it is easy to lose perspective on the period costs of the simple necessities of war like gunpowder. Once more I quote from the Queen’s Oranges;

“What does it cost for a barrel of powder?” That produced a fierce discussion with much waving of arms, whether those gestures defined sizes, measures or what Ned was unsure but the brothers finally came to an agreement. As before Rob Black was delegated as spokesman, his friend looking both shocked and surprised as he turned to deliver their deliberation.
“Ahh Ned, I’m a bit unclear they… we had to try and translate their usual weights and prices into our equivalents, but they think a barrel of about a hundredweight based on the price at Ghent last month is worth eighty English pounds.”
“What, a barrel! Are you sure?” Ned tried hard to keep the surprise out of his voice, Rob looked puzzled for a moment before rejoining the huddle of experts. Further mutters and expansive gesture signalled the efforts of translation until Rob finally straightened up and walked over with a slightly puzzled smile.
“Yes Ned, they’re certain eighty English pounds it is! The measures and weights was a bit of trouble, since they had to rework douche and imperial standards into London pounds since a good half to two thirds of the powder is bought overseas. Then there was difficulty in the exchange rate for Rhenish florins.” A pair of beard faced nodded in agreement to Rob’s explanation.
“Sweet Jesu, war is an expensive business!” To Ned this shed a new light on the cost of the cannon’s roar at city celebrations, at sixteen hundred silver shillings or two hundred and sixty gold angels a barrel, it was very clear why the King would want to restrict their use to only supremely important royal announcements. He wondered just how much powder was used per Gonne, no doubt these two brothers would know down to the nearest peck, but he’d seen a possible answer for the vanished Ben Robinson.

So in Tudor currency terms two hundred and eighty gold coins a barrel and to put that in even starker perspective the Tower was said at that time (1530) to hold six thousand barrels of gunpowder. Even if we cut that figure down to a more reasonable four thousand the value would be one million one hundred and twenty thousand golden angels just for the gunpowder. To give an idea of contemporary value one barrel of gunpowder is worth around eighty Tudor pounds sterling, to be classed as a gentleman you required an annual income of twenty pounds sterling. As they say war is a very expensive pastime only pursued by Princes. So if you want to either defend the realm or stake your families claim on someone else’s territory chests over brimming with gold and silver are a prerequisite.
So as you can see the old days of raising the banner of rebellion if you didn’t like the monarch or disagreed with their religious inclination, while still possible and indeed in Europe was common. The action though usually overbrimming with zeal and commitment often suffered from a few glaring defects. If the rebels didn’t have access to gold, gonnes and gonnepowder the chance of victory on the battle field or siege was pretty remote.

And where you may ask did the Tudor monarchs keep most of their modern Engines of War?
In the Tower of London, the most heavily armed and secure ‘palace’ in all of Britain. Directly under the watchful eye of the most senior royal officials and just a short boat ride down river from Whitehall, the centre of Tudor administration. In fact the only successful rebellion in the Tudor period was that of Princess Mary Tudor against Lady Jane Grey, Edward VII’s proclaimed Protestant successor. It is worth mentioning that Princess Mary according to some reports and chronicles ‘acquired’ a large number of cannons and armaments from some of the great Tudor warships coincidentally lying off Harwich. Considering what we know from the wreck of the Mary Rose removing and remounting its great gonnes for transport would have taken a large shipyard like Greenwich and some time.



Also these miraculous cannons were unlikely to be from some local noble’s own stock since to possess any cannon required a royal licence. No Tudor monarch was keen on letting such potent weapons stray out of royal supervision. So is it possible that Mary Tudor was lent some ready made WMD’s by her Hapsburg uncle Emperor Charles V from across the channel in Bruges? That could be a point to investigate at a later date.
It is also worth noting that Tudor WMDs weren’t pulled out at the merest whim, it required a lot of effort and expense to see that they were deployed with adequate support. The widowed husband of Mary, Philip of Spain in a later effort to unseat his former sister in law Elizabeth used a sizable fleet the Armada to transport his WMDs in 1588. Despite the brave words of her Majesty’s Tilbury speech it is just as well that Howard, Drake and the English fleet drove off the Armada. Since it was commonly considered that once it had landed its WMD’s and supported by the Duke of Parma’s veteran pike and muskets would have demolished the English defences within days.


Up dating WMD’s


The basic gonnepowder cannon reigned supreme, for hundreds of years, it was the queen of battles and arbiter of nations from late medieval to the later part of the ninetieth century, essentially unchanged as a weapon. Then during that explosion of invention that was the Victorian steam age it experienced a serious technological upgrade, more than quadrupling its range and capacity for destruction and creating the first of the twentieth century’s WMD’s;


The Dreadnought WMD



There was nothing new in fitting cannons to ships. The utility of a gonne powder ballistic weapon in ship to ship and then ship to shore battle was soon realised as an improvement on the previous catapults and ballista’s. Its initial integration in naval warfare was fitful, as the technology of cannons clashed with the requirements of a timber maritime vessel. Since they were propelled by oars or sail the placement of heavy iron or bronze cannons could and did impair their need to stay balanced and afloat in difficult conditions. The proof of this conflict was the loss of both the Mary Rose and the Vasa both of which sunk due to improperly closed lower gunports when the vessels were heeled over by a sudden wind.



It has been suggested by some marine historians that the Elizabethan ship designers and cannon manufacturers were the first Europeans to fully integrate the race galleon as a primary gun platform naval vessel, rather than being a standard vessel with cannons added. In time this idea of a full time dedicated naval gun platform took hold amongst the western nation states as they competed for control of resources, prestige and trade. Thus we come to the British three decker ship of the line like the HMS Victory a purpose designed and constructed battle ship with one hundred and twelve cannons the most powerful weapon of its day. As mighty and graceful as these vessels were, the advances in both iron and steel technologies during the industrial revolution transformed them into relics of former glory. The modern face of battle by 1860 was a steel hulled warship such as HMS Warrior.


And Britannia still ruled the waves until the American Civil War. The clash of the USS Monitor and the CSS Virginia on the 9th march 1862 proved that technology and innovation under the pressure cooker of conflict could move very fast.



This speed of improvement turned out to be very expensive for modern nations aspiring to the ultimate in battle wear accessories like an up to date fleet. Also important in seizing and protecting those overseas colonies required for the status of empire. This competition reached its technological, financial and design apogee in the construction of HMS Dreadnought in 1906.




On the day of its launching it became the most expensive, advanced and powerful weapon in the world. With its massive 12 inch guns it could lob an armour piercing shell 18 kilometres. For speed she could travel at 21.4 knots or around 40 kilometres per hour and her armour was the latest steel compound and at its thickest was 11 inches. This was the ultimate in Steam Period WMD. No other world class navy or shore battery could stand up to its salvos and she was specifically designed to sink any ship or combination of ships afloat. As for potential destructive power there was nothing to surpass it until the much later American and Japanese super battleships.
The Dreadnought class of warship was regarded as such a serious threat that international treaties were negotiated to limit its spread and balance out the number of battleships per nation, thus providing the world with the first balance of terror for the twentieth century. It is perhaps rather sad and disappointing for us a hundred years later that our WMD’s do not look so majestic or stately and out weigh HMS Dreadnought in destructiveness by a factor of thousands if not tens of thousands.

The thread of this story began with Tudor medicine then onto the Tudor status quo and how it was maintained by law and Tudor period military technology with a few brief excursions into historical fiction. Then we had a very quick coverage leading up to the awesome weapons of the 1900’s the Dreadnought. From the cannon to the battleship all of these fitted into the classification of WMD’s. All of them were meant to be seen as instruments of threat, or defence of the realm. As symbols they mostly they just sat around reminding people of what could happen if…
Such is the currency of deterrence. However in these modern and enlightened times WMD’s are hidden objects of terror and suspicion capable of annihilating entire cities.


In that case isn’t it good that we have outgrown religious fanaticism and bigotry? Aren’t we lucky to longer have the Tudor habits of a nation serving the whims of an individual monarch? Aren’t we fortunate that our realms employ WMD’s at the will and discretion of the people rather than to salvage the reputation and claims of our forefathers? Aren’t we just so damn’d superior to our ancestors!!!



Bye all and don't forget take the dammned Pills!!!