History Remembrance Day and Myths Part 2
Good day all, I hope this latest missive finds you in good health? Since November is now with us I thought we’d continue our examination of one of the most important days in that month’s calendar and now that the Melbourne Cup, has finished it time to go on to the second part of our series on the Great War. Once more we will be disposing of a number of misconceptions and myths regarding that terrible conflict.



First; The Plans



In the last part of the Industrial Steam Age the manner of warfare had as most historians agree changed dramatically, the first signs of this transformation had appeared in the American Civil War of 1861-1864. I have covered part of this surge of development in my prior article on WMD’s through the ages, in regard to the naval developments with the first modern ironclad warships; the USS Monitor and the CSS Merrimac/Virginia. While these threatened the naval balance of power the greatest leap forward was in communication. It was the first war where the respective commanders in chief could receive real time intelligence and reports via telegraph. So the reports of success or failure could be managed with reinforcements rushed close to the area by the other wonder of the age, the railway.


The Railway

The steam train and railway had an extremely important impact on all facets of ninetieth century society, it provided an almost unlimited mobility to freight and people. By rail they could be transported to the ever increasing boundaries of the network, distance that previously took weeks by river or rutted dirt track could be covered in days. To the modern military observers of that conflict this new advance in logistics and movement set them theorising on the possibilities. An army need no longer be restricted by poor weather or slow down its campaign to forage for supplies. So long as a rail line was nearby an army was liberated from the previous limitations of manoeuvre that had dogged every commander from Caesar to Napoleon. We will explore the ramifications of this development in the next section, in the meantime there was one more crucial factor of the Civil War that had set the European military a thinking; conscription and mobilisation.


Mobilisation

This idea of rapidly creating a national army by conscription was not new, the revolutionary armies of the France proved that they could stand off and defeat the professional armies of Austria, Prussia and Britain. That linked with the growing manufacturing capacity of the early Industrial Age kept up a ready supply of uniforms, weapons and gunpowder. However as stated before the harnessing of the latest technologies had given these instant armies a new speed and greater punch. Now in contrast to the usual image of generals always planning for the last war, the European high commands pondered the opportunities now available and how best to use them. Surprisingly none was more radical and innovative than the Prussian/German army, famous for its rigid traditions and adherence to hierarchy.



AJP Taylor and the German Railway Timetables

When I was in high school decades ago studying modern history, we had to deal with the path to World War One and the Weimar Republic in some detail. A major part of that was an analysis of AJP Taylor’s then recent book War by Timetable (1969). The prominent and in some cases notorious British historian maintained that the need for a speedy mobilisation and transport by all the competing European powers increased the chance of war. He viewed it as an early and failed form of MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) that rather than serving as a brake to potential conflict closed diplomatic solutions as competing timetables locked into place. In some respects this was a reasonable view of events when seen from the distance of fifty years. However all historians are limited by two factors, first the social and political flavour of the period they are writing in. Second access to information, in 1961 German historian Fritz Fischer released his decade’s long study of the archives of Imperial Germany in his book Germany’s Aims in the First World War. It came up with the then controversial proof that the Imperial German government had been actively planning for a war to secure colonies and a ‘rightful’ dominance in Europe. Since then his conclusions have not been successfully refuted. It also throws doubt on Taylor’s Timetables argument as a thinly veiled criticism of the Nuclear confrontation of the US and Russia. Other historians maintained that it was the alliance treaties that separated Europe into two polar blocs, each a rival to the other and that created the tensions pushing each into the war. I do not think it was that simple, individual nations and their leaders in each alliance were frequently more influenced by their own distinct political and economic agendas. Those I believe were more crucial in the decision to join the war, than any amorphous external association.
Now having got that complex section of rival theories out of the way we will examine very briefly and simply the concepts of the various participants’ plans.



France



The French plans shifted and changed depending on which school of military thought had control the French general staff, the GQG. From the crushing defeats of 1870 to the early twentieth century they were purely defensive in nature, with only a few flutters of adventurism. All plans emphasised fortifications and blocking positions by the French army, Verdun as a gateway fortress was in held particular significance. By the early twentieth century this defensive attitude was treated with scorn by a number of French writers, claiming that it admitted to an inherent ‘cringing inferiority’ to the Germans.
With the resurgence of France as a colonial power this apparent subservience was pushed aside as the French military looked to a past before the disaster of 1870 and rediscovered the Furor Gallicae. The spirit of élan vital of the Revolution of 1789 and then translated that into the new military doctrine. According to this theory the French are by disposition a valorous race and always perform best in the attack. Therefore the best defence for France was attack!
This new strategic and tactical idea was given the title of Plan Seventeen and shifted focus to a much more aggressive stance, advocating a full on assault into the contested territory of Alsace–Lorraine. Thus for GQG this new plan married two key aims of French military aspiration and national policy. The first objective was to regain the lost provinces and the second to halt or break up the predicted German offensive that they knew was being planned.
The main aspect of this plan while proclaiming the essential need for offensive al a bayonet! was still in essence a defensive reaction, it would only swing into play if Germany threatened.
If the difficulty was with Britain, as during the brief flurry of the ‘Fashoda’ incident, the plans were vague. Targets such as Gibraltar and Malta were suggested, as was commerce raiding. However the traditional historical dominance of the Royal Navy and speed of British ship construction made any French advantages fleeting. As for military retaliation, that could only occur where colonial territories abutted since the channel was still a barrier. Realistically since the British could at will strangle French trade or severe the links to North Africa, any nationalistic anti-British rancour tended to be limited to blasts in the popular press or brief public protests. On another level the increasing ties of social interaction, culture and trade between London and Paris smoothed over these minor disputes.

Britain


It was a common belief in Britain that they could scorn the affairs of Europe since the barrier of the Channel was an effective shield, however that didn’t create a consciousness of isolationist as did the expanse of the Atlantic for the United States. The British government understood that like it or not geography and history made the island kingdom a long term player in the affairs of Europe. The barrier of the surrounding seas was not such a bulwark from foes, it could and had been a frequent highway for invasion. The French historian Braudel would say their foreign policies were shaped by environmental determinism. The key being the dominant weather patterns, first the Gulf Stream carried the Armada from Spain to the south coast of Cornwall then along to the Dover straits. While the currents of the North Sea provided a different peril as it washed from Norway along Denmark then past the Low countries of Nederland and Belgium. N.A.M. Rodger a distinguished naval historian in his amazing three volume history of the Royal Navy repeatedly pointed out the vulnerability of that cross channel stretch from Ostend to Dunkirk. It was the tender spot of British international politics and whom ever held it was a potential enemy.
This simple fact rather than any humanitarian or neighbourly concern is what prompted Britain after the Napoleonic Wars to unconditionally guarantee the independence of first the Nederlands than then Belgium. Every European nation was warned that if they threatened that ‘neutrality’ then the might of Britain would be used against them. That aside the other factor that caused immediate British concern was the development of a fleet that could threaten their naval dominance. Which is exactly the course that Kaiser Wilhelm and his naval advocate Admiral Tirpitz embarked upon.
As for active plans, in case of threat they didn’t actively call upon the army as did most of Europe. The largest part of the British forces where spread throughout the empire, especially in India. Anyway in time of peril it wasn’t the army that Britain traditionally tended to call upon, it was the senior service, the Royal Navy. Before 1910 Britain felt safe and secure behind the steel walls and massive guns of the Royal Navy’s Dreadnoughts and Battle cruisers. So a large standing army or mass mobilisation was not required, thus their home forces were but a fraction of those on the continent. Essentially up to the day war was declared British plans were nebulous, the only certainty was the Admiralty plan. The Royal Navy would immediately mobilise then head for the safe harbour of Scapa Flow which also blocked the northern exit of the North Sea. There was also an iron clad guarantee that the Royal Navy would defend the French section of the Channel. Though, that agreement was probably more motivated by self interest than any real concern for France.

Germany



Germany was obsessed with two strategic problems, the first was the resurgence of France and their rising nationalism that proclaimed the ‘regaining of Alsace-Lorraine’ as a ultimate French ideal. The second was the massive Russian empire on its eastern border, and the teaming hordes of savage Cossacks that populated the overly fertile paranoia of the German imagination. Despite the efforts of Bismarck to separate the two potential ‘enemies’ Kaiser Wilhelm’s rash posturing and threats drew them together in an unlikely alliance. Even worse was to come, Wilhelm’s desire to emulate the Royal Navy created the twentieth century’s first arms race as he commanded that Germany equal Britain in the construction of Dreadnought Battleships. Unwillingly and reluctantly Britain was pushed into an alliance with the centuries old enemy, France and as a consequence the despised Tsarist Russia. Germany’s answer to this two front threat was the Schlieffen plan, which commanded an invasion of France via Belgium. In fact in response to a possible threat from Russia the plan was the same, invade France. Britain’s inclusion as a possible foe, rather than cause a pause or rethink of diplomacy and strategy just consolidated the iron hard resolve of Invade France!

Russia

Tsarist Russia had undergone a troubled and tumultuous transition to the twentieth century. Its Baltic and Pacific fleets were destroyed by the new and more modern Japanese navy in 1905. While the Russian possessions in China, Port Arthur, had been seized by victorious Japan and the Tsar had avoided mass rebellion by the narrowest of margins. In spite of those military and political disasters the fabled might of Russia with its potential millions of solders was a spectre that haunted both the German and Austro-Hungarian empires. Perhaps it was a folk nightmare from the Napoleonic Wars or even a distant memory of the Mongol onslaught. In sheer numbers it was a real fact to contemporary military planners of all nations. However the Great Russian Empire was struggling to modernise in both industry and armaments and endless hordes of warm bodies didn’t count if they marched without artillery and machine guns. The Russian plan wavered between two extremes the first was to use space like they did in 1812 and wait for the distance and vastness of Russia to wear down the enemy. While the second advocated a steamroller like offensive moving inexorably forward unstoppable until it reached either Berlin or Vienna. That of course was the plan whether the Russian army, its communications or logistics was capable of this feat was another matter.

Austro-Hungarian Empire

Ostensibly the wronged party in the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand their plans called for mobilisation in the eastern provinces’ to defend against Russia and an overwhelming assault on Serbia. As it turned out the offensive to smash the Serbs collapsed and was driven back across the border, while the responses to the Russians had mixed results alternating between modest victory and crushing defeat.

Ottoman Empire
At the outbreak of hostilities between Germany, Austria-Hungary and France, Russia and Britain the Ottoman Empire did not immediately seek to honour it prior treaty as a Central Power. It had not recovered from the losses it suffered in the First and Second Balkan War or its war with Italy that lost Libya and the Dodecanese islands. The Turks were desperately trying to modernise and had commissioned two Dreadnought battleships from British shipyards, while their army endeavoured to upgrade training and equipment via the German military mission. The new government of the Young Turks was deeply divided by faction and interest. Half swaying towards the traditional protection of Britain from the peril of Russian ambitions, while the others waivered in the direction of Germany.
In the end it was an accident of lost opportunity, arrogance, imperatives of naval defence and the actions of two German cruisers that forced the Turks to join the Central Powers. To gain the full flavour of the bizarre story all I can suggest is read Guns of August by Barbara Tuchman or Castles of Steel by Massie both are superb in outline the paths to war.

Italy

Italy had signed the treaty with the Central Powers or as then called the Triple Alliance. Though, when push came to shove, they used the aggression of Germany in Belgium and the invasion of France to claim exception from the ‘defensive’ pact. According to their plan the combined fleets were to rendezvous at Messina and wrestle control of the Mediterranean from the French. At the outbreak of war the inclusion of the British Royal Navy in that equation brought a sobering dose of reality. A glance at any map shows that Italy, except for its northern border is all coastline and several of its largest cites are coastal ports such as Venice, Genoa Naples and Messina. This geographic fact along with the prospect of losing access to vital wheat imports from Russia and fuel imports from Romania outweighed the dubious attractions of the German Austro-Hungarian alliance.





The Results and the Treaties

As can be seen from a brief review of the various plans some were extremely aggressive others more defensive in intent. However they were in July to August 1914 only plans, concepts outlined on paper and though practiced in military exercises not chiselled in stone as holy writ, except in the guilty imaginations of some military commanders. As transpired in the furnace of battle they did warp and change to fit perceived threats and opportunities. In the decades since a number of historians have stressed the connection between the two treaty blocs (the Entente Cordiale and the Central Powers) and how these two opposing arrangements somehow pushed each group straight down the path to Total War. In this discussion I have not emphasised this stance since as far as I can see the evidence that has emerged since then tends to indicate that this wasn’t the case. The rigid hierarchy of treaties and plans did not march lock step into war.
There was no absolute certainty that France would act militarily against Germany in line with its treaty with Russia. While the Tsarist Empire due to distance and insufficient transport had to mobilise as early as possible. Though that action itself was no guarantee it would invade the Austro Hungarian to defend the Serbs. Across the channel affairs were even more nebulous. Britain had made naval protection agreements with the French as well as a secret agreement to send military forces to France in case of invasion. In the later case the British government waivered on whether they should stick to the secret treaty or hold off. This hesitancy lasted up to the news that Germany had invaded Belgium, then old instincts kicked in, the German High Seas Fleet could not be allowed to gain a foothold on the Dover straits.
As can be seen one single nation had the capacity to halt the course for the war, Germany. Unfortunately as we have seen in part one it had neither the intention nor the leadership. Now in part two it is plain that its aggressive war plan took little account of diplomatic shifts or included even the slightest grasp of political or strategic reality. It embraced the opportunity for war and according to the predictions of The Plan its victory over France was assured, its dominance of Europe guaranteed. Whether war with France, or invasion of Belgium and antagonising of Britain was justified was dismissed as irrelevant.

By all until part 3

As the good doctor says; ‘Take the damned pills!’

History, Remberance Day and Myths

History Remembrance Day and Myths

Good day all, I hope this latest missive finds you in good health? Since November is fast approaching I thought we’d examine one of the most important days in that month’s calendar and no I don’t mean the Melbourne Cup, the horse race that stops a nation. If that’s what you where expecting then I suggest you go to a racing website.







Like many Australians I have a family connection to the Great War, My paternal grandfather Harry House served in the First AIF as a pioneer. He landed at Gallipoli two weeks in and was evacuated suffering from severe dysentery a few weeks before the withdrawal. After recuperating he joined his battalion in France in time for the AIF assault on Pozieres, were he went down seriously injured in an artillery barrage. I remember meeting him three times as a lad, once in a veteran’s hospital, he was by then completely blind having lost one eye in the explosion. He however was relatively fortunate, on my wife’s side her family lost Cecil McIntyre, died aged twenty three in the sleet and mud of Armentieres. (See photo below)








While his brother Sidney McIntyre was promoted to captain via battlefield commission and awarded the Military Cross. I think two more relatives may have been seriously wounded but haven’t had the time to track down their records. That I may add is just the First World War, as for the later conflict I will deal with them in time for ANZAC Day.

Since we are getting close to the one hundredth anniversary of the start of the First World War I believe it is important to look at and explode as it were a number of myths and misconceptions that have grown up around that terrible war. Having recently reviewed my sons’ history textbooks I found that they were full of the most basic mistakes and erroneous assumptions that appeared to ignore a lot of the modern research of the past thirty years. Even worse I found myths and suppositions had magically transformed into solid historical fact. For me that was too much to accept. Considering that history shapes us and our world every day I found that sloppiness disturbing. I am not after a jingoistic or nationalist version or as they call it a black armband revisionism.

One of the fondest habits of historians is reviewing the past, it is an essential part of their nature and/or profession. So it should came as no surprise that our view on the tragedy of the First World War has changed, due to the discovery of new information or the reconstruct of the jigsaw puzzle of the past. Unfortunately with the gems also come the dross and a growing tendency to misrepresent the past. Some books I personally have found to be pathetically puerile while others like Dreadnought shine searchlight like on our common history.

I do not want to white wash the errors and play up the glories, my research and the conversations with veterans tells me it was grim past imagining. Having talked to them I feel it is my responsibility to give to my children the opportunity to look at their past in as clear a rational light as possible, to see the triumphs and errors of their ancestors and hopefully learn from them. In this series of articles I am trying for impartiality, though I suspect that evidence and upbringing sway me against the blind forces of history theory.


First; The Cause
Yes we all know that a young Serb nationalist was coincidentally in the right place at the right time to assassinate Archduke Ferdinand the heir to the Austro-Hungarian Empire. That simple fact is covered adequately in most recent recountings in print and in moderately accurate TV programs. After that dramatic event the whole situation becomes very murky as competing agendas and ambitions come into play. The Serbian Black Hand society who arranged the assassination attempts had links back to the head of the Serbian Secret Service. This gentleman had his own plans and had organised matters in the fond hope that the Balkan parts of the Austro-Hungarian Empire would spontaneously revolt leaving the area ripe for Serbian intervention. Whether the Serbian government officially knew of this is difficult to tell, however they appeared ill prepared to capitalise on the event. Nor had they engaged the pre-emptive support of Russia, the usual patron of Slavs in European and Balkan affairs.







First let us disregarding the theories of Illuminati and secret cabals of armaments moguls or others who apparently we are informed conspired to bring about a war that would lead to a New World Order. That is just absolute nonsense. It may work in the unreal world of thriller novels or fantasy adventures but such long term commitment, organisation, communication, dedication and secrecy is impossible in any secret society that includes humans. The First World War was started by a perfectly human collection of sins and foibles by those in positions of absolute authority. At this stage I will point out that while the forces of Imperialism, Nationalism and Militarism had a lot to do with the creation of the political tensions and cultural backgrounds for the conflict they did not in themselves create the irresistible tidal flow that swept away all the old nations and their ruling hierarchies. It was the action of individuals that utilised these forces for their own needs, ambitions or self interest.

Now as we have recently seen the Balkans is a mess of conflicting and competing nations and ethnic minorities. Its very geography makes this so, with regions carved up by mountain ranges and river valleys. A modern French historian Ferdinand Braudel spells this out in great detail in his book The Mediterranean, after a few chapters you begin to see how environmental determinism really did shape the conflicts and ethos of the Balkan tribes and kingdoms and especially why they naturally reached out to the surrounding great powers for alliance and aid in their disputes with their neighbours. The unfortunate fact of Realpolitik was that that these great powers included the Russian Empire and the Austro-Hungarian Empire, both bitter rivals themselves in the Balkans. So bringing the interest of larger patrons did little to calm any situation and made the most minor inter-clan banditry across a border into a ready excuse for an all encompassing war. (Bulgarians charging Turks 1912)







Added to this set of tensions was the last surge of colonial expansion, from 1880-1912 the European powers were in a race to snap up the last unclaimed patches of territory or acquire parts of crumbling empires. Britain gained Egypt and the Sudan thus protecting their route to India, France acquired Morocco as a ‘protectorate’ and in the disintegration of the crumbling of the old Ottoman Empire Germany made a dangerous bid for the Western Sahara, prompting the Agadir Crisis. This was seen as a threatening and aggressive act made deliberately provocative by the sabre rattling of Kaiser Wilhelm. The crisis set both Britain and France on edge and coupled with the increase of the German High Seas fleet created real fears of German military expansion and aggression.

Any good political squabble always throws up opportunities, and the Italians in 1911 used the both the growing Balkans crisis and the fragile situation in North Africa to launch an invasion of Ottoman Libya. It had mixed results and teetered on the brink of disaster thanks in part to the military leadership of Mustapha Kemal (Ataturk). When the Italians latter seized the Aegean islands of the Dodecanese the weakness of the Ottomans encouraged Bulgaria, Serbia and Greece to attack the Ottoman European possessions in the First Balkan War. After the success of the first round the victors then savaged each other in the Second Balkan War in a battle for the spoils.

Accepting that the Balkans and North Africa were a vulnerable flashpoints, especially so after the recent bloody round of internecine Balkan warfare. The great powers of Europe had tried to set up a congress of consultation in an effort to defuse rivalries and tensions. Now, you know what they say men of good will gathering together can solve any problem. However that does depend on everyone wanting a continuation of peace to start with. By 1914 that was not the case.
At this stage we can introduce the ‘blind forces of history’ concept and get it out of the way. Some historians love to talk about inevitability and the inexorable sweep of social, economic or political tides. In this they claim the actions of an individual to alter the flow of ‘history’ are irrelevant as it is it path is predetermined. I.e. the war was caused by the surge of rising German economic and industrial growth versus the stagnant French or waning British. It looks good in print as a title header doesn’t it? Quite a few historians have made their reputations on claims like that. The problems is that if that was the factor then all Germany had to do was wait a decade or less and they’d be wealthy enough to buy out the French economy or out compete British mercantile trade. That wasn’t the case, while economic historians love figures and market forces it is leaders of governments and military commanders who dictate their use.








On this line of leadership now is the time to introduce the key figure of the First World War; Kaiser Wilhelm of the house of Hohenzollern, emperor of Germany and grandson of Queen Victoria. If any real blame for that dreadful conflict lies with any single person, then I would have to say it had to be Wilhelm. He held a position of supreme authority and power as the monarch of the strongest military nation in Europe. While Germany in theory had a constitutional monarchical government in the representational Reichstag, its form did not match substance. Wilhelm had complete control over all facets of the military, including promotions and funding, he most importantly had an iron grip on the upper echelons of government, all officials were subject to his appointment. In the entire German Empire there was no person or organisation who could legitimately say no to Wilhelm without being accused of treason.

In a benevolent ruler such overwhelming powers tend to be ignored in the general peace and prosperity, while in a tyrant they are emphasised as justification for rebellion and overthrow. It is a pity that Wilhelm didn’t fit either of these extremes or his rule would have been less fraught with disaster. Instead he was prey to more perilous foibles and ambitions. Wilhelm the man, was driven by obsessions, he loved military uniforms and the grandeur of parades. In that theme he also believed himself to be the supreme warlord and military genius, often taking charge of the General Staff exercises where he always ‘won’. Worst of all he had such a massive inferiority complex that it would have kept a battalion of Freudian psychologists employed for decades. As an example he deeply resented that he hadn’t been born Prince of Wales regarding his Uncle Edward and Cousin George as unfit and ill suited to inherit the British Empire. It was a grudge and canker that gripped the Kaiser’s soul. Wilhelm also suffered a number of other dangerous delusions, first that he was brilliant and clever and secondly that he was possessed of a political acuity that would rival Machiavelli.(Bismark)







That was not the case Wilhelm was easy to manipulate by stronger more ruthless figures like Bismarck, Bethmann-Hollweg and Tirpitz. Each of those encouraged his fantasies to further their own ambitions. This I suspect is the true source of the First World War. Bismarck encouraged military distractions to keep Wilhelm away from government. Tirpitz promised him a navy to rival that of Britain’s causing fear and apprehension were there had once been friendship. Finally Bethman-Hollweg prompted the Kaisers’ grandiose and bellicose proclamations threatening war on those who stood in the way of ‘Germany’s place in the sun’.(chancellor Bethman-Hollweg)








So we move away from blind forces to individuals. Gavrilo Princep shoots Archduke Ferdinand, his uncle emperor Franz Ferdinand asks Wilhelm for support in punishing Serbia for the terrorist crime and active subversion. Wilhelm seeing an opportunity to grandstand issues his infamous ‘blank check’ to the Austro-Hungarian Empire and chancellor Bethmann-Hollweg backs it to hilt as well as suggesting to Wilhelm, he take his summer cruise, so as to look ‘innocent’ during the crisis, giving his chancellor sole control of the situation. At this point the German General Staff usefully advise that if war is to come, this year would be best before the Russian rearmament is completed. Thus the great European wide war moved a step closer. The Austro-Hungarian chancellor seizes hold of the ‘blank check’ as a lifeline to a drowning man. Conrad von Hotzendorf believed passionately that a short sharp shock was the only solution to the strains and stresses of growing national identity by the empires’ disparate regions, threatening the imminent dissolution of the dual monarchy. For him it proved a god sent opportunity to crush the upstart Serbia.
At the this moment of growing crisis in international affairs two major players had already determined on the course of war, for what now can be seen as personal motives. It could even be said that between this small group of individuals and their advisors a conspiracy had sprung up to lull the concerns of a worried Europe shocked by the assassination, but otherwise unprepared for war. Well unprepared except for their respective plans of mobilisation and strategy.
At this stage trembling on the brink of cataclysm we end part one.

As the good doctor says; ‘Take the damned pills!’

History, Weapons of Mass Destruction and the Balance of Terror
Good day all I hope this day finds all my readers in good health. Hopefully the course of leeches I prescribed did the trick? Excellent! Always a sound remedy for those of a choleric disposition, and preferable to the practice of cupping or drawing several ounces of blood with a knife and basin. Those more severe methods have always left me slightly uneasy as to their real efficacy for the treatment of illness. To expel black bile and rebalance the body’s natural humours I have rather tended to rely on purgatives or emetics as more immediate remedies. Anyway Medieval and Tudor medicine was very keen on the idea of resorting to what we would consider rigorous procedures to return the patient to the body’s natural harmony or symmetry. In fact one of the main themes of the Renaissance was the struggle between those keen on maintaining the existing ‘Natural Order’ and those who agitated that a newer updated version of the ‘Natural Order’ be incorporated.
As an example of the turmoil this clash caused we can look at the actions of the Tudors monarchs. Henry VIII in particular was naturally pretty heavy on the maintaining of the Natural Order, in both the physical and spiritual bodies of the kingdom. Especially, since their position at the top of the late medieval hierarchy was gained by conspiracy, treachery and the bloody violent overthrow of the legitimate monarch. After that example of the rewards of betrayal it behoved Tudor monarchs to behave quite severely towards similarly ambitious nobles by the simple expedient of beheading any rivals that happened to pop up. Now apart from the draconian laws and punishments pertaining to Treason, Heresy and Praemunire (we’ll cover that last one in a separate article later, in the meantime just think of it as a useful catchall that picks up any opponents the other two missed), the Tudor state had one more important tool of legitimacy, that had English nobles pause in thought;

The Cannon.


Where as in the medieval period the knight was seen as the potent symbol of the religious, political and military hierarchy, by the later 1400s advances in technology had altered the reality behind this steel clad image. While the chivalric and romantic ideals of the knight were venerated in song, story and sculpture by the aristocracy, the reality was somewhat different. The knight still held an honoured, essential and even exalted position on the field of battle. However his participation in combat no longer guaranteed victory as a weapon of war, unless it was in the capacity of a unit captain or senior commander. That battle winning accolade now belonged to a new mistress of the battlefield, the triumph of the artisans and alchemists craft; the cannon; the Tudor version of Weapon of Mass Destruction. As an example of this I am inserting a section from one of my novels (The Queens Oranges) that best explains the new reality of this modern engine of war and their impacts as Renaissance WMD’s;

Red Ned and the Queens Oranges chapter 6 Modern Engines of War © 2010

…It was certainly a widening of Ned’s knowledge, the more he heard regarding the great bronze beast that the three of them affectionately patted, the more awe struck and fascinated he became. These modern devices; the Basilisks, Demi cannons and Culverins were the King’s means to smite and lay waste his foes. If however they were his arms, then the blood and sinews that powered these weapons was the vital black powder, the success of the alchemists craft the ‘Fue d’Artifice’ or “made fire’. It was the ability to balancing the conflicting art, craft, alchemy and perhaps magic that made these two men so valuable to the king’s service. For when carefully measured and weighed the charges, if used with skill could propel missiles that would destroy the greatest walls or alter the fate of nations in battle. Without this blend of skill and the harnessed wrath of the black powder these great weapons of destruction were just mute impotent lumps of bronze and iron.
As an example of their impact on the turn of Lady Fortuna’s wheel Henryk recounted one famous incident. It was at the battle of Ravenna over twenty years ago between the Spaniards and the Lombard League. A single shot from a culverin ploughed into the Spanish line killed thirty men and wounded many more. The horror and shock of the missile’s devastation caused the Spanish companies of horse to precipitously charge in desperation, losing the battle. Ned could understand why the common soldiers feared and venerated their Gonnes, it was a bit like have a savage demon on a loose tether. If the other side had one so did you, possession was essential, no matter the risks or expense.
From the older brother he had a story that warned of the perils of use, King James II of Scotland was besieging the English held castle of Roxburgh when the barrel of his great siege Gonne exploded killing him. Ned had looked doubtfully at the culverin he was leaning on until Henryk assured him that the incident had happened years ago and cannon rarely exploded like that now. That had set Ned’s fears at ease, then Hubrecht gave a low chuckle and add that bronze was still preferred over iron since it tended to bulge before exploding, but. The douche gonner had concluded his reasoning with the sort of shrug and wave of hands in the universal gesture of uncertainty of Lady Fortuna’s favour and Ned’s reassurance evaporated.

After those tales Ned could understand the recent rants from the friars screaming of the coming destruction. Blood and Fire of the Apocalypse! Any city under siege from modern engines of war would witness their own dress rehearsal for St John the Evangelist’s prophetic words. It was no surprise that after the first roar of the Gonnes most towns surrendered. Casting a more knowledgeable look at the iron and bronze instruments, the wonder was that in battle men didn’t break and run at the first salvo. It must take a special kind of resolve to stand and watch the belching gouts of smoke and flame as they lashed towards their ranks.




The Tudor WMD



The weapon of mass destruction is not a recent concept, kingdoms and empires have worked through a number of different variations usually revolving around siege engines or the ultimate warship. The Tudor dynasty was in this respect no different to those of the past or its contemporaries in Europe. At the time the cannon represented the best balance of siege breaking ability and battlefield awesomeness. Even better for those monarchs keen on a centralised government and taxation, the manufacture and maintenance of cannons was an extremely expensive business, almost as expensive as firing them. In this modern age of mass production and general wealth it is easy to lose perspective on the period costs of the simple necessities of war like gunpowder. Once more I quote from the Queen’s Oranges;

“What does it cost for a barrel of powder?” That produced a fierce discussion with much waving of arms, whether those gestures defined sizes, measures or what Ned was unsure but the brothers finally came to an agreement. As before Rob Black was delegated as spokesman, his friend looking both shocked and surprised as he turned to deliver their deliberation.
“Ahh Ned, I’m a bit unclear they… we had to try and translate their usual weights and prices into our equivalents, but they think a barrel of about a hundredweight based on the price at Ghent last month is worth eighty English pounds.”
“What, a barrel! Are you sure?” Ned tried hard to keep the surprise out of his voice, Rob looked puzzled for a moment before rejoining the huddle of experts. Further mutters and expansive gesture signalled the efforts of translation until Rob finally straightened up and walked over with a slightly puzzled smile.
“Yes Ned, they’re certain eighty English pounds it is! The measures and weights was a bit of trouble, since they had to rework douche and imperial standards into London pounds since a good half to two thirds of the powder is bought overseas. Then there was difficulty in the exchange rate for Rhenish florins.” A pair of beard faced nodded in agreement to Rob’s explanation.
“Sweet Jesu, war is an expensive business!” To Ned this shed a new light on the cost of the cannon’s roar at city celebrations, at sixteen hundred silver shillings or two hundred and sixty gold angels a barrel, it was very clear why the King would want to restrict their use to only supremely important royal announcements. He wondered just how much powder was used per Gonne, no doubt these two brothers would know down to the nearest peck, but he’d seen a possible answer for the vanished Ben Robinson.

So in Tudor currency terms two hundred and eighty gold coins a barrel and to put that in even starker perspective the Tower was said at that time (1530) to hold six thousand barrels of gunpowder. Even if we cut that figure down to a more reasonable four thousand the value would be one million one hundred and twenty thousand golden angels just for the gunpowder. To give an idea of contemporary value one barrel of gunpowder is worth around eighty Tudor pounds sterling, to be classed as a gentleman you required an annual income of twenty pounds sterling. As they say war is a very expensive pastime only pursued by Princes. So if you want to either defend the realm or stake your families claim on someone else’s territory chests over brimming with gold and silver are a prerequisite.
So as you can see the old days of raising the banner of rebellion if you didn’t like the monarch or disagreed with their religious inclination, while still possible and indeed in Europe was common. The action though usually overbrimming with zeal and commitment often suffered from a few glaring defects. If the rebels didn’t have access to gold, gonnes and gonnepowder the chance of victory on the battle field or siege was pretty remote.

And where you may ask did the Tudor monarchs keep most of their modern Engines of War?
In the Tower of London, the most heavily armed and secure ‘palace’ in all of Britain. Directly under the watchful eye of the most senior royal officials and just a short boat ride down river from Whitehall, the centre of Tudor administration. In fact the only successful rebellion in the Tudor period was that of Princess Mary Tudor against Lady Jane Grey, Edward VII’s proclaimed Protestant successor. It is worth mentioning that Princess Mary according to some reports and chronicles ‘acquired’ a large number of cannons and armaments from some of the great Tudor warships coincidentally lying off Harwich. Considering what we know from the wreck of the Mary Rose removing and remounting its great gonnes for transport would have taken a large shipyard like Greenwich and some time.



Also these miraculous cannons were unlikely to be from some local noble’s own stock since to possess any cannon required a royal licence. No Tudor monarch was keen on letting such potent weapons stray out of royal supervision. So is it possible that Mary Tudor was lent some ready made WMD’s by her Hapsburg uncle Emperor Charles V from across the channel in Bruges? That could be a point to investigate at a later date.
It is also worth noting that Tudor WMDs weren’t pulled out at the merest whim, it required a lot of effort and expense to see that they were deployed with adequate support. The widowed husband of Mary, Philip of Spain in a later effort to unseat his former sister in law Elizabeth used a sizable fleet the Armada to transport his WMDs in 1588. Despite the brave words of her Majesty’s Tilbury speech it is just as well that Howard, Drake and the English fleet drove off the Armada. Since it was commonly considered that once it had landed its WMD’s and supported by the Duke of Parma’s veteran pike and muskets would have demolished the English defences within days.


Up dating WMD’s


The basic gonnepowder cannon reigned supreme, for hundreds of years, it was the queen of battles and arbiter of nations from late medieval to the later part of the ninetieth century, essentially unchanged as a weapon. Then during that explosion of invention that was the Victorian steam age it experienced a serious technological upgrade, more than quadrupling its range and capacity for destruction and creating the first of the twentieth century’s WMD’s;


The Dreadnought WMD



There was nothing new in fitting cannons to ships. The utility of a gonne powder ballistic weapon in ship to ship and then ship to shore battle was soon realised as an improvement on the previous catapults and ballista’s. Its initial integration in naval warfare was fitful, as the technology of cannons clashed with the requirements of a timber maritime vessel. Since they were propelled by oars or sail the placement of heavy iron or bronze cannons could and did impair their need to stay balanced and afloat in difficult conditions. The proof of this conflict was the loss of both the Mary Rose and the Vasa both of which sunk due to improperly closed lower gunports when the vessels were heeled over by a sudden wind.



It has been suggested by some marine historians that the Elizabethan ship designers and cannon manufacturers were the first Europeans to fully integrate the race galleon as a primary gun platform naval vessel, rather than being a standard vessel with cannons added. In time this idea of a full time dedicated naval gun platform took hold amongst the western nation states as they competed for control of resources, prestige and trade. Thus we come to the British three decker ship of the line like the HMS Victory a purpose designed and constructed battle ship with one hundred and twelve cannons the most powerful weapon of its day. As mighty and graceful as these vessels were, the advances in both iron and steel technologies during the industrial revolution transformed them into relics of former glory. The modern face of battle by 1860 was a steel hulled warship such as HMS Warrior.


And Britannia still ruled the waves until the American Civil War. The clash of the USS Monitor and the CSS Virginia on the 9th march 1862 proved that technology and innovation under the pressure cooker of conflict could move very fast.



This speed of improvement turned out to be very expensive for modern nations aspiring to the ultimate in battle wear accessories like an up to date fleet. Also important in seizing and protecting those overseas colonies required for the status of empire. This competition reached its technological, financial and design apogee in the construction of HMS Dreadnought in 1906.




On the day of its launching it became the most expensive, advanced and powerful weapon in the world. With its massive 12 inch guns it could lob an armour piercing shell 18 kilometres. For speed she could travel at 21.4 knots or around 40 kilometres per hour and her armour was the latest steel compound and at its thickest was 11 inches. This was the ultimate in Steam Period WMD. No other world class navy or shore battery could stand up to its salvos and she was specifically designed to sink any ship or combination of ships afloat. As for potential destructive power there was nothing to surpass it until the much later American and Japanese super battleships.
The Dreadnought class of warship was regarded as such a serious threat that international treaties were negotiated to limit its spread and balance out the number of battleships per nation, thus providing the world with the first balance of terror for the twentieth century. It is perhaps rather sad and disappointing for us a hundred years later that our WMD’s do not look so majestic or stately and out weigh HMS Dreadnought in destructiveness by a factor of thousands if not tens of thousands.

The thread of this story began with Tudor medicine then onto the Tudor status quo and how it was maintained by law and Tudor period military technology with a few brief excursions into historical fiction. Then we had a very quick coverage leading up to the awesome weapons of the 1900’s the Dreadnought. From the cannon to the battleship all of these fitted into the classification of WMD’s. All of them were meant to be seen as instruments of threat, or defence of the realm. As symbols they mostly they just sat around reminding people of what could happen if…
Such is the currency of deterrence. However in these modern and enlightened times WMD’s are hidden objects of terror and suspicion capable of annihilating entire cities.


In that case isn’t it good that we have outgrown religious fanaticism and bigotry? Aren’t we lucky to longer have the Tudor habits of a nation serving the whims of an individual monarch? Aren’t we fortunate that our realms employ WMD’s at the will and discretion of the people rather than to salvage the reputation and claims of our forefathers? Aren’t we just so damn’d superior to our ancestors!!!



Bye all and don't forget take the dammned Pills!!!

By Baal, it’s a Kangaroo!
Or Cultural Diffusion and how we learnt to build Pyramids!

Once more a happy greeting to my multitudes of readers, I hope both of you are well, for me it has been not so, the scourge of a virus producing cluster migraines laid me low and whimpering for eight days straight. By Jove I wish they still had laudanum dispensed over the counter! I could have done with a stint of indulging in the Black Drop Habit like those romantic poets in Ken Russel’s surreal film Gothic. Anyway In an effort to distract from the blinding headache I slowly worked on part two of the ancient discoverers of Australia.
This time around it is the Phoenicians’ turn, now first we have to ask who were the Phoenicians and why would they be connected with Australia? Give Wiki a quick check (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoenicia)and you’ll find a passable explanation of their origins society and influence, without getting into the overly academic. In short they where a city state civilisation based on the Levantine coast from Acre (now in Israel) north to encompass all of modern Lebanon. Their most famous or according to roman writers’ infamous successor was the Phoenician colony of Carthage which to Rome’s dismay dominated the western Mediterranean. Now according to historians we owe the Phoenicians a great deal, the phonetic alphabet for one. They also established a Mediterranean wide trading system that sourced tin from Britain, gold and iron from Spain and shipped wine to Egypt. On the whole they were the bustling middlemen of the ancient world, evidence also exists for linking them with trading ports along the Red Sea and across to India. According to the Greek historian Herodotus; Pharaoh Necho II around 600 BC launched an expedition manned by Phoenicians down the east coast of Africa to circumvent the continent. It took three years and is currently being re enacted (http://phoenicia.org.uk/ ) in a rebuilt replica of a Phoenician trading vessel based on the results of maritime archaeology. Herodotus seems to have considered this an amazing event well worthy of noting (vol 1 book IV section 42) and it if it happened it did prove the Phoenicians capable of long distance voyaging. Though Herodotus himself expressed amazement at the report and used it as a lead in for the feats of the Persian king of kings Darius the Great. The Persian monarch no doubt was looking for more lands to conquer and launched two similar expeditions to explore the eastern Indian Ocean from India to Eastern Africa and one to chart the west coast of Africa.
The results must have been unsatisfactory since there is no record of follow up voyages. This is the main written basis (apart from various exaggerated interpretations of biblical text) for Phoenicians wandering over to the Antipodes. The oft quoted land of Punt as a source of gold has been interpreted as to mean any patch of turf from the Red Sea to the Pacific Ocean. In truth those brief mentions are a bit lean to base anything on. Now we do have archaeological evidence to back up the written accounts of Phoenicians regularly trading with Britain and the lands around the North Sea and down the western coast of Africa, possibly as far as Guinea. So long distance voyages were a fact of life, however in this age of easy ocean spanning travel we need to examine this a little deeper.
According to most written and archaeological accounts sea travel was essentially a coastal affair with the vessel pulling into shore as often as possible to resupply with food and water. The slightly later Greeks when travelling in triremes always beached their ships over night unless engaged in a longer crossing like from Sicily to Tunis. This coastal habit has been frequently mentioned by historians of the Mediterranean like Braudel. He felt that environmental determinism, ie how the land and environment shaped a people was essential to understanding their history and interactions. In this theory he believed that the capacity and technology for deep-ocean going travel encompassing a week or more out of sight of land was more common to fringe ocean dwellers along the Atlantic, where it was an essential survival skill for fishing and trade. There may be something in this since the oar driven trireme was the dominant vessel for warfare in the Mediterranean, from the Phoenicians up to the Venetians and Turks in the sixteenth century. However attempts to use this style of vessel in any but the calmest Atlantic weather usually resulted in them sinking. I bring up this little fact on ship capacity and technology to knock the first supposition on its head. There isn’t anyway short of teleportation that a Phoenician trireme was going to cross the Indian Ocean or the Timor Sea. Its survival from storms, disease or lack of water put the odds more in the range of winning lotto.











Now on to the Phoenician workhorse; a sail equipped cargo craft.
I am proud to admit our ancestors were no dumb bunnies, they came up with some very impressive solutions to a whole range of seaborne technical problems. Such as stitching and laminating hull planks to increase flexibility, thus reducing stresses from the battering of waves. The use of adjustable timber nails to fit and wedge the internal ribs and a sail capable of tacking into the wind. What an amazing feat, all this without the aid of Atlanteans or descended Spacemen! Either of which would be hard pressed to tie a bowline knot, let alone design a rugged sea going vessel and all its rigging. What the Egyptians were to pyramids the Phoenicians were to nautical engineering, if anyone could design and build seagoing vessels then it would have to be them. But you ask how does this justification of Phoenician naval magnificence sit with them not getting to Australia? Well considering their well founded sea travelling reputation they are the favoured choice for any pet theories on cross oceanic cultural fertilization. In plain language they’re supposed to have taught both the Mesoamericans and the Khymer to build pyramids. Now that’s really strange since there isn’t a single pyramid in all of Phoenicia!

Cultural Diffusion or how we learnt to build Pyramids!

Thus as expected we come back to pyramids, we just can’t seem to get away from them. These monumental structures have been touted as an apparently mysterious unifying feature amongst some prominent ancient cultures spanning two millennia. You’ll be shocked to hear that to a large number of ‘alternate’ experts the creation of these ceremonial or memorial edifices was only possible due to the guidance of benevolent aliens. Or far ranging seafarers, stocked with a cargo load of easily translated arcane scrolls, take your pick. Perhaps the universal concept of a dwelling could also be due to a similar cultural diffusion, there has to be a speculative book in that, I can just imagine the title now; Ancient Atlantean Mysteries and the Secrets Origins of the Modern House! With a title like that you could sell to both the Post-Modern set and the New Age Alternates, add in a genuine ‘Atlantean layout compass’ and bingo you’ve got the Feng Shui market as well.












Back to our friends the Phoenicians, for the amazing and instantaneous transfer of knowledge as maintained in the more luridly titled books it is somehow naturally assumed that every cargo vessel blown across an ocean to a remote and uncivilised shore naturally included an astronomer, engineer and stone mason. All of whom are experts in Egyptian building technology. Though strangely these ‘Phoenician’ passenger manifests are always lacking bronze or iron workers and carpenters, a singular omission. These passengers must have been blessed by the gods to survive weeks of drinking their own urine and been granted miraculous foresight to stock up on extra provisions.












Atlantean Cultural Diffusion, or not?

I suppose that’s how the Atlanteans disseminated their accumulated millenniums of ancient knowledge, passed down by wise and benevolent higher beings. I mean its pretty obvious they anticipated the island destroying cataclysm. Didn’t they? You can just picture it the high priest loftily announced that the sacred texts needed a refreshing jaunt around the harbour with the entire priesthood in a few very well provisioned vessels. Don’t worry about the earthquakes or lava spewing volcano, it’ll be fine, bye see you next month. Yeh right, as if that didn’t arouse the odd suspicion amongst the populus! Let’s ignore the fact that knowledge of engineering and astronomy belonged only to a minute fraction of a percent of the population, say one in four thousand. Anyway what escaping ship isn't complete with out its ravishing blonde princess?











Phoenicians- weather, sailing vessels and distance

So back to our Phoenicians who according to a number of experts in Australia not only discovered the sunburnt country but set up the ancient equivalent of a Rio Tinto mine and export facility in Queensland, located either at Sarina, Cooktown or Gympie, depending on whose internet version you find.
Now having raised those myths we will first deal with the possibility of Phoenicians discovering Australia.
The monsoonal weather system that sweeps the Indian Ocean dictates the sailing season in the entire South East Asian region, when it is in its east to west phase the passage to India and Arabia from the Spice Islands is fast and relatively safe. As the weather pattern swaps the converse is true, any ship’s captain reliant on the winds and who has knowledge of these phenomena will utilise this natural cycle, either for profit or survival. However this means that sea journeys in the East Africa to south East Asian arc have to be undertaken as annual expeditions. Which means travelling from the Red Sea to say the island of Timor could take an entire sailing season at the least. You have to remember that pre steam ship travelling was not fast, a good day’s sailing gave you fifty to seventy five miles with a following wind. If we accept the supposed claim of Phoenicians on the east coast of Australia then from a Timor base they would have had to sail a further fourteen hundred miles via the southern coast of New Guinea to reach the Torres Strait and then over a thousand miles south through the Great Barrier Reef to reach Sarina. That’s forty to fifty days straight passage without stopping for food, water or repairs. Considering they are also sailing along the extremely dangerous Barrier Reef. . . Well lets face it the odds of survival are not ones any sane person would bet on.
Okay that’s the distance and weather matters dealt with, now on to the chance of Phoenician discovery, if they reached the Timor islands region then it is only a three hundred miles to the northern tip of Australia. So if our intrepid ancient explorers had made it to the Spice Islands it was only a short step to Terra Australis!

By Baal it’s a Kangaroo!

Extract Captain Hanno’s log of the Baal’s Pride out from Byblos via Punt
Worshipful prince Hasdrubal lord of our city, may the goddess Arstarte smile upon you! As instructed I am dictating this record to Hamicar our third scribe, it is now two moons since we left the Aromatic Islands to the north on their report of a large land in the Southern Ocean. It is truly vast, greater in extent than the lands of the Pharaoh, we have sailed for all of that time along the coast of a great land. I tremble to report that so far we have discovered little in the way of trade opportunities or treasures. On our journey to the west the land is rocky with gigantic stone cliffs covered in trees, so broken and perilous was the passage that we lost one of our vessels to hidden reefs. Further south we could only find a land like unto the barren coast of Libya extending for many days sail, in desperate want of water we headed once more north.

Worshipful prince, I humbly report that this land is inhabited by tribes of Nubians similar to those on the coast south of Punt. We have landed and tried many times to engage them in trade, they speak no language any of our crew has heard nor are they always friendly, some times they have driven us away with spears and cast whirling bent sticks. The coast here is also inhabited by fierce monsters like unto the Nile crocodile but larger, several of our men have fallen victim to their savage attack. Searching for food and game has been difficult, though there is plentiful fish.

Worshipful prince, it has been a moon’s sail towards the rising sun and still we have found no towns or cities, the Nubians here have no metal, cloth or pottery, not even villages. It is my misfortune to report that we have not seen any sign of gold, tin or precious gems, due to the ferocity of these southern Nile crocodiles it has been impossible for our assayer to test for gold dust in the rivers. I also beg leave to report that a poisonous serpent has slain the assayer when he was exploring inland. The men with him did report a strange animal, it has the appearance of a gazelle but lacks horns instead it has a long tail and it stands on two legs and moves in great bounds by beating its tail on the ground.

Worshipful prince, I have had to abandon the expedition. In the furtherest east we came upon a great reef extending south for many days sail and at frequent peril of grounding the crew clamoured to return to our home waters for they are frightened by the numerous fearsome and perilous beasts. There may still be treasures and trade as yet undiscovered but we can find no sign of them and none of the Nubians can tell us what lies there.

Tyranny of Distance and The Reality of Improbability

So as you can see the Tyranny of Distance strikes again for Australia! As well as the simple fact that Phoenicians are merchants and traders like the Portuguese in the 16th century. Both societies required a port and goods to trade laid on, they don’t have the time or the resources to build extensive facilities. After all its always easier to seize some one else’s like the Portuguese did to Malacca when they arrived in the Spice Islands. The other fact that explodes the myth of Phoenicians in the Sunburnt Land is profit. As I said above they are primarily traders, and ships the essential transport vehicle of commerce are expensive. This being an accepted fact it is highly unlikely they’d send a fleet thousands of sea miles into the unknown with what would have to be hundreds of valuable skilled workers and supplies relying on dozens of supply ports along the way. As we have seen with the early modern exploitation of the Spice route by the Portuguese, Spanish and Dutch, long distance expeditions are frighteningly expensive. Losses were always high, several ships may depart on any venture, but that’s not how many return. Frequently a single leaky worm riddled vessel limps back to port crew decimated by scurvy and tropical diseases as it ties up to the docks all the investors pray that its packed to gunwales with gold, diamonds or spices. The alternative is too horrible to contemplate looming financial disaster and ruin.

When looked at the whole Phoenician –Australia situation as a simple cost –risk benefit analysis the prospect of their venturing this way diminishes dramatically. More telling is the local ready source of markets and resources, in other words follow the money! If gold and slaves are there for the picking on the East African coast and spices, gems and Lapis lazuli can be easily traded in India, then why risk the perils of distant and dangerous Terra Australis? Unless of course you have a few convicts to offload?

Naw, Punt salt mines are closer.

Bye all and as the doctor says – take the damned pills!

Who Discovered Australia!
Ancient discoverers of Australia
Or there’s a pyramid in my back paddock!

Evening and salutations to my growing hoard of devoted readers (both of them). Let me compliment you on your excellent selection of this blog to peruse from amongst the myriad wordings hovering expectantly in the ether.
I have recently been brushing up on my research on the discoverers of Australia. This is of course a fascinating subject and one I hope to pursue in depth when I get published.
To any publishers and agents out there, this is a not so subtle hint that there are bucks to be made getting my good self into print – ps look at 1421, more on that later. But enough of that shameless self promotion, back to the theme of this discussion.

Who did discover Australia?











Captain Cook!!!?

Now I remember learning in school four odd decades ago, about our historical discoverers, especially in the year 1970 when all Australians celebrated the two hundredth anniversary of the Captain Cook expedition. We even minted a special fifty cent piece, which I sure I can find if I diligently searched through my dusty archived childhood coin collection. But that is a digression – we will cover the true place and achievements of Captain Cook at little later. In the meantime on to more contentious issues. Who exactly can reasonably be credited with the first discovery of the southern continent?

Ptolemy's map a 1467 version
The most reliable and decipherable ancient sources are various ancient Greek and Roman writers on geography. Herodotus, Ptolemy and Strabo are the most quoted. In their books they speculated on the existence of a Terra Australis (Great Southern Land), though at this distance in time it is difficult to judge whether their information was based on actual reports from passing traders, or on myth and sailors hearsay. Other writers, especially up to the Middle Ages, tended to be less specific and more fanciful in their speculations, including the more common reports of tribes of strange men with heads in the centre of their chests or of walking trees. Then when it came to discussing the condition of the great oceans, their reports always included a selection of ship devouring kraken, floating islands and luscious, and with any luck, lascivious mermaids. While this provides great background for many fantasy novels, it couldn’t in any way be regarded as accurate, though the curious part of these accounts is that sometimes the shadow of something substantial can be discerned through the fog of dragons. However they should never be taken as fact or used as hard evidence to claim earlier discoveries.
At this point I realise that this discussion is going to take a few sessions so let’s look at this as part 1.

The Ancient Discoverers of Australia. Or there’s a Pyramid in my back paddock!

Ancient Egyptian mine and temple in the Sinai


Here we shall examine and hopefully put to rest a few myths.
Firstly the Egyptians.
According to the internet, some self proclaimed experts reckoned that the continent of Australia was positively crawling with Bronze Age Egyptians who stripped the gold, silver and gems from this great southern mineral repository. Some of these distinguished gentlemen have even written books about their fabulous discoveries. Dozens of ruins, hundreds of idols and thousands of inscriptions. Most startling of all, apparently we have up to seven pyramids scattered across the country side. And we didn’t even realise it!
I mean, you can just picture it.

Ancient Egyptian priests


Go back three thousand years. Two Egyptian priests are strolling through the rugged Australian bush, dressed in pleated linen kilts, nattily corn rowed wigs and besplendidly kohled eyelids clambering over remote and inaccessible cliffs. Then all of a sudden they halt and one turns to his companion and points meaningfully at an uncleared patch of scrub in front of them. “Well, damn me Imhotep, isn’t this a spiffing place to wack up a pyramid, what?”
“I say Sekhmet, by Thoth, I think you’ve got it! Just look at this place! If I refer to my handy astronomical scroll, I believe we’ll find it corresponds perfectly with all the ley lines and heavenly constellations.”
By Crikey, won’t the Pharaoh be pleased – another pyramid!” chortles the first priest.
“What’s that make it Imhotep – seven?”
His companion sadly shakes his head. “No Sekhmet old chap, six by my count.”
The first priest is visibly staggered by the news. “Hows that Imhotep? I could’ve have sworn we’ve built seven.”

The Plans? Damned Architects!!!
“No, no Sekhmet. You really can’t count the one we built in that tidal estuary in Pharaohland up north by the gold mine. It did sink after all!”
“Oh well, I suppose six it is then.” replies Imhotep reluctantly, before rallying to the task. “When do you want to start this one?”
However all is not so rosy – Sekhmet is still shaking his head. “Well old chap, I’m sorry to say we can’t possibly manage it till some time next solar cycle.”
“What! That outrageous! Why not?” Imhotep is aghast at this dreadful revelation.
His friend patiently explains the complex issues surrounding the imminent non construction. “Well you see old chap, we just don’t have the navvies for it.”
This simple explanation doesn’t cut the mustard with Imhotep who waves urgently back towards the rising dust cloud of their last construction site.
“But we’ve got thousands of the blighters lounging around. Surely we can spare a few hundred to get it started?”
His passionate gestures fail to move a frowning Sekhmet. “Fraid not old bean. What with the gold mines, the roads, the temples, the port construction, the food transport and this abysmally hot weather we just can’t spare them.”

building !!!
Imhotep stamps his foot, coincidentally crushing one of those large black spiders that infest this region. This cannot be! The will of the Lord of the Nile cannot be hindered by paltry excuses. Then he has a sudden flash of inspiration. “What about those dark chappies? The local indigenous? Can’t we round up a thousand or so of them?
“Sorry tried that. Damned surly bunch these natives. Can’t get a decent days slaving out of them. A taste of the lash and they scarper off back into the bush.” Sekhmet gave the kind of shrug that spoke of hours of fruitless flogging.
Imhotep, clearly frustrated, was not going to let this lie. “Well damn me, we’ll just have to requisition another thousand slaves from Punt.” He was not going to be dissuaded from his appointed task by mere details. It was a sacred duty – pyramids must be built!

Hauling !!!
Sekhmet was of a different frame of mind, more practical for a start. Almost hesitantly he raised one more minor flaw in the divine plan.
“Ahh, my dear fellow, I fear we may have a few difficulties with that. No ships.”
“What! We had fifty yesterday! They can’t have disappeared overnight!”
“You see, those Phoenician wallahs who do the transport have jacked up and want to double the insurance rate. Something about vast reefs and lurking kraken and all that kind of rot.”
As expected Imhotep splutters into a new round of the argument.
And so on, and so forth…
I think we’ll leave the rest of the discussion to the imagination.

Ziggurat Mesopotamia


Back to our ancient discoverers. For some deeply felt reason, our ancestors had this driving urge to build upwards. In Egypt it was pyramids, in Britain artificial mounds like Avesbury, while in the Fertile Crescent it was ziggurats. All of these were great feats of construction, engineering and design. As their descendents and inheritors, we should feel justifiably proud of these achievements, all built, I may add, completely without the help of any grey, blue or slightly pinkish aliens. Now this cultural devotion also extended to different styles of religious temple complexes. Whether those were based on astronomical calculations or lunar and solar events is still up for debate. However both these kinds of projects required a great deal of social and cultural organisation for a long period of time, possibly spanning centuries. Hang on you say, isn’t this straying from the ancient discoverers of Australia theme? Well yes and no. This short segment is to provide the background for our area of discussion and now we venture into the realms of the present.

Need I say anything?
I am sure most of you have had some experience of building, whether its having worked in the construction industry, a DIY project or at least walked past a building site, and even glanced at a piccie of one in any number of home improvement magazines. Apart from our probable common ancestry on the plains of Africa, it is a unifying factor for modern humanity – we like to build, and we like to build allot! However, as you have probably noticed, this construction drive is a terribly messy practice and every job acquires piles of discarded rubbish, including excess concrete, broken tiles, bent nails, the carpenters’ McDonalds snack containers and even the odd Snickers wrappers. Now this mess can’t just lie around, ruining the landscape so a significant word (so long as it includes the words ‘no payment’) to the site manager and all this detritus magically disappears overnight. There simple – happy satisfied clients,that is so long as they don’t want to plant roses or any other toxin sensitive flowering shrub in the front garden, or the side lawn or excavated by the back fence and so on.


Archaeologist's 'McDonalds wrapper'
Now being that we are all afflicted by certain common traits of human nature, what makes you think the ancient Egyptians were any more scrupulous in tidying up? This is a fact of history and a rich haul for archaeologists, since ancient middens and rubbish heaps are their modern day treasure troves. Thus broken pots, as well as the discarded lunch wrappers of yesteryear have been the foundation of many careers. The careful excavation of their contents have told us that Egyptian pyramid and tomb workers liked beer, dates, fish, wheat porridge and it seems making snide remarks about the overseer and the client (via messages scratched on bits of pot). This sifting of acres and acres of accumulated rubbish left over from the pyramids and tombs has kept historians, archaeologists and Egyptologists from all the major universities, antiquarian societies and museums, busy for a hundred and fifty years, organising digs every season. Even distant institutions like Macquarie University in Sydney have had an ongoing site for the past thirty years. Believe it or not, even after all this frenzied activity there are still thousands of sites unexplored or unsurveyed.

Egyptian tomb
Okay I think we have set the scene. Building temples and other ancient structures, even for a few generations, generates a lot of waste. So much that anyone with a modicum of training or at least a few archaeological reference books on pottery styles, should be capable of identifying their location. In fact it is pottery and the decendant of a famous explorer of Australia, Mathew Flinders Petrie, (the irrepressable Mathew Flinders of circumnavigating Australia fame, was his grandfather) who come up with a simple way of cataloguing pottery by style and placement at the dig site to give an accurate date to excavated layers. That’s why Time Team go birko when they find any pottery shards. Yoo hoo – instant dating!

Ahem... where are the mummies???
Thus we finally come to Australia and its plethora of pyramids and temples and those who identified them. How did they do that you ask? Well it appears that one expert in particular is responsible for large number of claims, he also runs an “Archaeological” Research Centre. This gentleman has single handedly found dozens of relics and remnants. In fact it seems that every time he goes for a walk in the bush anywhere in the country he literally trips over the stuff just begging to be found – stone tools, megalithic temples, acres of carved inscription, wouldn’t you know, the place is just lousy with it. Amazing! Absolutely incredible! Astounding and several more words to that effect. A brief survey of his website (type in Yowie, UFO and Egyptians in the Google boxes and see what comes up) and online ‘research’ journal will give you the general idea. However in all his discoveries our gentleman appears a bit hard up on the kind of physical evidence usually accepted as valid. Unfortunately all he has to offer are a few freshly carved rough stone heads and a scattering of Egyptian touristy style scarabs. Now at this stage my discerning reader will of course ask, well what about the pots? What pots? Why the ones used by the dozen everyday for water or beer or cooking. The ones they dig up by the bucket full on any archaeological site. The ones that prove beyond a doubt that someone lived and worked there, in short – builders rubbish. Well unfortunately there aren’t any at all, so we must assume that the visiting Egyptians went completely native scorning the use of any pottery items in favour of grass baskets.

Grave goods abscent from OZ
Now what did they put in those grass baskets, any wheat or grains? Perhaps some dates, certainly not beer or wine since they didn’t have pots. Now we come to another difficulty. They couldn’t have eaten any of their usual foods since we haven’t found any remnant grains, date palms, oxen, donkeys or camels (except for the ones we introduced in the 1860s). That means the Egyptians would have had to slaughter the native wildlife by the tens of thousand to feed all these workers busy building the pyramids, ports and temples. Of course that would leave evidence of massive kill and cooking sites and either flint, copper or bronze arrow and spear heads by the kilo. Unless they all ate fish. However those aboriginal shell middens we’ve been excavating for decades would have coughed up a hefty layer of non-native items.
So scratch the physical evidence.

I could resist it an 'instant' UFO crop circle at Silbury

Thus we come to the last reason to discount any ancient Egyptian discoverers. Why would they come here, the most furtherest corner of the globe (apart from Antarctica)? Why gold we are told! What, did they run out of gold in Punt (believed to be on the East African coast)? I don’t think so. The Arab traders were still pulling it out in the 1500’s with no signs of running out. Maybe it was spices? Ahh no – we didn’t have any. That was India and the Spice Islands to the north. Perhaps it was our superb exotic timber? Probably not, once more there were until recently thousands of square miles of teak, ebony, rosewood and cinnabar in Africa and Asia. Someone else mentioned tin, the essential ingredient in bronze as a justification. It’s a pity then that the trade routes to Britain and India were closer and the natives were happy enough to do all the hard work like mining and refining.


A phoenican-egyptian stone figure allegedly 'discovered' in OZ


Finally we come to the supposed physical objects. A quick stroll through the Internet archives and message boards gives a very good indication of the same pieces of carving, scarabs and coins recycled as proof of ancient Egyptians. Now I hate to be so cynical towards my fellow man but don’t you find it a tad strange that these items are always discovered in complete isolation or found at the bottom of an improbably deep hole conveniently dug for a well or foundation. I mean if this was a NCIS investigation and a friend’s life depended on its credibility, would you believe the presented evidence? (As a general rule when faking hieroglyphs don’t use modern steel tools or cut through a hundred year old lichen – do a search for the Gosford glyphs and see what I mean)
So in conclusion I would have to rule out the ancient Egyptians as discoverers of Australia. So if you do think you’ve found a pyramid in the back paddock, I’d do a bit of serious checking before announcing it to the world.

Bye all and as the doctor says – take the damned pills!